


Fractured Moonlight on the Sea

by wildwinterwitch



Series: Driftwood [17]
Category: Broadchurch, True Love (TV)
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Series 1 Episode 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 21:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwinterwitch/pseuds/wildwinterwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec and Ellie talk on the pier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fractured Moonlight on the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from “Never Let me Go” by Florence & the machine

“What about you and Holly?” Ellie asked, sensing that his sadness didn’t stem only from him wanting to be wrong about Joe.

He took a shuddering breath. “That’s over too.”

“Why?”

He turned to look at her. “I’m not sure. She told me she loves me. God, Miller, why do ye women have to be so bloody complicated?”

She scoffed. “After all this, and it’s still Miller?”

“You asked me not to call ye that, remember?”

“That was because when you called me Ellie this morning I knew what you were going to tell me was bad. Besides, I could ask you the same question, sunshine. Why do you blokes have to be so bloody complicated?” she said.

He thought for a while before answering her. He wanted to tell her, more than anything else, what had happened between him and Holly, but he couldn’t do so without betraying Holly’s confidence. What she had told him could land her in prison if he chose to divulge her secret. But he wasn’t going to do that, no matter how much her secret upset and hurt him. Part of him knew that Holly hadn’t taken advantage of her position, and that Karen had been old enough to make her own decisions. Of course, he wasn’t sure how much manipulation factored into it. Holly hadn’t shown herself to be the manipulative type. She’d said that she loved him, Karen was dead, but Holly loved him. He was sure that Holly’s affair with Karen was just that, an affair, a one-off. If Holly were a lesbian, she’d not have slept with him. So it came down to him. “I suppose I pushed her away,” he said.

She stared at him. “You really are a tosser, do you know that? I… I don’t get you, Sir. You can be so gruff and off-putting, and the next minute you comfort me and take care of me and… What _is_ it with you, eh?”

“Ah, I cannae tell ye that.”

She sighed. “Are you at least getting that bloody operation?”

“Why?” It was a genuine question.

Miller looked away, behind them where the townspeople were lighting a pile of driftwood in memory of Danny, and, he supposed, Jack. “Bastard.”

“What did ye say?”

“I said bastard. And you know why?”

“No, but I have a feeling ye’re going to tell me.”

“Because you’re trying to push me away too. Only, it won’t work. Because I care about you, Alec, and I won’t allow you to keep doing to yourself what you’re doing. You don’t have to tell me what makes you tick, because honestly, I’m not sure I’ll understand. But I know that you’re a bloody good detective, even if you need a machine to keep your heart going.”

He guffawed. “What are ye going to do about it? Arrest me and have me operated on by court order? Stripped of what decency I have left? Don’t ye think enough people have had a go at destroying my life?”

Again, she stared at him as if he’d spoken a foreign language, and he was about to comment on her sheepish expression when she erupted. “Oh, you think _your_ life has been destroyed? Don’t make me laugh, Alec.”

“Ye have _no_ idea what ye’re talking about, Miller. So leave it.” For some strange reason, he didn’t get up and walk away, although he felt like doing so.

“Then tell me, bloody hell!”

To both their surprise, he did. It was going to be all over the papers anyway, and he felt that Mil— Ellie deserved to learn the truth about Sandbrook from him. As far as Holly was concerned, he only told her that she’d had an affair with a woman, just like his ex-wife had.

“Bloody, hell,” she said when he finally stopped talking. He gazed into the distance, watching the bonfires for Danny define the coastline more clearly than the scattered artificial lighting did. “What did you say to her?”

“That I needed time to wrap my mind round the idea that… she’s attracted to women too.” He had to tread carefully now not to betray her secret to Ellie.

“But she did tell you that she loves you, didn’t she?”

“Aye.”

Ellie exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure I’m ready to understand what it means that the person you love is attracted to their own sex too, but I’m beginning to see where you’re coming from. But then again… isn’t it always about wondering what the other person has that you don’t?” she asked. “Regardless of whether this other person is a woman or man?”

“Honestly?” he asked. “I’m not sure.”

“Have you told her you love her?”

“No.”

“Oh, Alec.”

Her words roused him a little. “I tried to get in touch with her,” he said, producing his mobile and drawing up their recent text messages. She glanced at them.

“Either you told her in no uncertain terms that you don’t want her, or…”

“Or what?” _She doesn’t want me, not outside our agreement._

“Or she doesn’t know you at all.”

“Which you doubt.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks, Miller.”

She punched his arm. “I was beginning to think we were beyond that.”

He slumped a little. “So what do I do? I really do love her, Ellie, but I’m… She’s very clear.”

“What if she doesn’t really mean it?”

He chewed the inside of his cheek. Ellie needed to know about Karen’s age to make an informed decision, but he couldn’t do that to Holly. “I think…”

“Well, I think you ought to fight for her. You fought so hard on this case. Don’t you think that someone who affects you on a far for personal level deserves far more?”

“I’m not sure if I’m up to it, to be honest.”

All of a sudden, she drew him into her arms. He hadn’t seen it coming and stiffened a little, but eventually relaxed into her embrace. He supposed that she needed the comfort as much as he did. “I’ll help you, if you let me.”

Baffled, he withdrew. “Why?”

“You deserve to be happy, Alec.”

“As do you.”

She bit her lip. “I have the boys. They need me now.”

“I could say the same. But…”

“She doesn’t talk to you, does she?” Ellie asked.

He looked away. “No.”

“Losing the love of your child is worse than anything, isn’t it?”

He sniffled. Ellie’s hand was cold as she reached for his, but the gesture warmed him anyway. “Make sure that it doesn’t happen to you. Or Joe.”

She scoffed. “I’m not sure I want them to love Joe right now. I don’t understand what makes him tick.”

They sat in silence for a while. He tightened his scarf as the breeze picked up.

“I don’t know what makes you tick either. You fight for those families but you won’t fight for yourself?”

“Ellie,” he grumbled.

“I’d hate to lose you. You’re friend, much as you don’t like hearing that. But you are. And I’ll fight for you,” Ellie said.

“Ellie!”

She grinned at him. “Yes, Alec?” 


End file.
